Now that that's out of the way, something has been on my mind lately. The other day, I was sitting at a coffee shop in the morning and there was some drama outside. Police were called for a man who was wandering the streets and putting himself in front of moving traffic. Shortly thereafter, the medics were called; presumably for a 5150. I saw one of the guys get out of the rig and he had the label EMT on his back. It got me thinking...
I totally miss it. I miss the excitement of a call. I miss the camaraderie of the fire, police and EMS. I miss the second family; always having each other's backs and never EVER selling someone out. I miss the humor, the family of dozens of brothers. I miss the medical challenges, the coffee runs, the Code 3s, the totally inappropriate jokes because sometimes it was truly better to laugh than cry. I miss the medical challenges, the feeling of helping someone on the worst day of their lives. I miss being with a partner who usually, because I was a young female EMT, would protect me and take control of the scene. I miss The Scene. The drama, lights, adrenaline. I miss how my partners knew every single possible fast food joint within a twenty mile radius and had nicknames for all of them; usually disgusting. I miss the magic of NarCan :-) I miss radio codes and universal precautions. I miss the time I was on a call at 2am and grabbed a map to locate the place we were going...and my partner's horrified tone when he said "you do not need to rotate the map upside down, Destiny". I miss the 24 hour station in Oakland where we were told to sleep below the (barred) windows to protect ourselves from drive by shootings. Wowah.
The feelings of the things I do not miss prevail. I do not miss the calls with kids involved. The spitting and swearing of someone who's high we wrecked by saving his life with medicine. I don't miss the CPR that never worked. I don't miss living in parking lots, nor the call that comes in at 7:45am when I'm off at 8am. I don't miss identifying a little too much with the young blond woman who died in a tragic MVA. I don't miss talking to the 18 y/o dead guy from a GSW - about why his life had gone so wrong and that I had hoped he was in a much more peaceful place. I don't miss the anxiety.
When EMS is in you, it's always in you. I don't know anyone in EMS who would disagree. It will always be in me. And that scene the other day in the coffee shop got me thinkng.
Hmm...
