...since I have had such a fulfilling, complete and thought provoking weekend. And because of these things, very challenging.
I attended a 2 day Christian Women's Conference with a dear friend. By the end of the conference- actually during the very last worship song, we were dissolved to tears and just clinging to each other. I know that makes it sound like the whole thing was emotional but really, it wasn't. I think it was just that we had taken in so much, explored so many layers of our selves and marinated in God and his grace for 2 full days that we were simply wiped out.
Now that I have had a day and a half to absorb...I want to relay a few things that stuck out to me. Since I am a super-nerd, and I love to study and learn, I made notes :-D.
These are snippets of fabric from the big quilt that was this conference. They may make no sense to you, as my reader, out of context with my life. But they sure mean a lot to me. What I highlighted in bold lettering is the main idea that stood out to me, with the surrounding description as the supporting detail.
~Theme verse of the conference: Romans 12:2 "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Yes, yes...and yes.
~When I am in a "FUNK", it can look like this: F: Focus is off and Feelings prevail. U: I am Under the problem and not above it. N: I am needy and whiny. K: I am Keeping the cycle going.
Consider this: how would you feel if you knew God was ALWAYS guiding you?
~Steven Tyler said: "I want to make compassion the new black". I love this. So much.
~One of the speakers was talking about how sometimes you know a couple where both the man and the woman just seem to fit perfectly. My friend laughed and looked at me...which kinda made me think she was thinking of me and my husband. I sure was. The speaker likened those couples to "Tupperware", where the lid and the container...just fit. I loved that visual. So simply romantic. So simply beautiful. How lucky I am to have found my Tupperware. Talking to other people in my life can and does often feel so friggin difficult. Like pulling teeth...or like torture. Talking, real talking with my husband is...easy. It always has been. I think that is why there are no divides between us. No secrets. Because it would be like keeping a secret from yourself.
~Sinners don't change because we throw rocks. Oh boy...do I haul rocks. That is NOT good. I struggle with the fine balance of protecting my family and myself and having compassion for others. I am truly that person who will give you the shirt off my back. I don't say that with pride...because in most of my life, that has been used against me as a weakness. But throwing rocks, or being accusatory, punitive or confrontational to those who I believe have sinned against me will not change those people. Compassion does.
~Insidious and destructive behavior can slowly seep into our lives. We usually don't screw up 100% overnight. We do it by slowly, and over time, turning down the volume of our consciousness. Let me always remember to keep that volume high.
~Often times we wonder how we know if we are hearing the word of God. If it follows God's character and God's word, it is God speaking to our hearts. We must listen.
~Isaiah 30:21: I was once again led to my "life verse". I didn't know this was my life verse...because I didn't even know that was a term until this weekend. I heard that term a few times this weekend and thought to myself that it sure would be neat to choose a life verse. But how would I begin? Where should I look? A few hours later (and to go into the detail of how it happened here would be a whole nother blog...but trust me, it was gooood), I was once again drawn to my life verse. Isaiah 30:21. If you're not familiar, crack a Bible and check it out. It brings me absolute and untold comfort in my life.
~A fool is known by the multitude of his words.
Oh boy...so true. I am learning...listen more. Talk less.
Which brings me to a close.
It was a lovely time.
I am thankful.
I am blessed.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Calling
Today's sermon at church was so great that I had to scurry home and write about it. That is, after fixing my family lunch, putting away laundry, disciplining my daughter for her ever-increasing almost-two-years-old fits, and throwing a load in the wash. Ah...mommy-dom :-)
Calling. Today's sermon was about our calling. I L.O.V.E.D it. It made me laugh, and it actually made me tear up. Not the sermon part...but the part where my church displays the baptism of people on the screens inside the auditorium while they take place outside in the courtyard. Specifically, a brother and a sister about 8 years old, were baptised together. I was ok with it until they joined their arms at the elbow and went backwards down into the water together. Ya- that got me. Softie.
Anyway: calling. What's my calling? What would you do if you won the lottery? A man wins the lottery and calls his wife: "Honey, I won the lottery! Pack your bags!" The wife says "Great!! Warm weather or cold?" and the man says "I don't care, so long as you're gone when I get home" (I laughed at that part, too ;-)).
Three things stuck out to me today:
1) We discover our calling, we don't choose it. I had to wrap my mind around that one, as I always thought a calling was what we chose. The Christian perspective really is that God has chosen for us and made us to be good at what will serve His purpose and kingdom. This may not necessarily be something we even enjoy or understand.
Before I met my husband, I had planned to join the Peace Corps. I had attended a meeting and was on track to join after earning my Bachelor's Degree, as this was something at the time that one needed to serve. It would have been a 2 year commitment in another country. As life has it, things changed and here I am. Not in a different country and not in the Peace Corps (not yet ;)). But at that time, I felt serving others was a calling for me. I still do. I feel it was something I discovered and it has not gone away over the last decade, though I have changed and time has passed.
2) Start thinking about the successes you have had over the course of your lifetime. Start with early achievements in childhood. This may be an indicator of what your calling is. I was a huge chatterer in my classes as a child. I made great grades but my teachers often commented that "Destiny socializes too much". If I heard the work "socialize" one more as a 10 year old, I swear...
So- I talk well. Additionally, I have been told I listen well. I also know I gravitate towards the walking wounded and people who need help. I love to help people. I had an all day work meeting at one of the hospitals I work for yesterday. I had to leave the conference rooms several times, as I was the organizer of the meetings. In the halls, patients would see me with my badge and ask me questions, of course not at all pertaining to my meetings. I really enjoyed helping the random patients and getting them where they needed to go. I loved it, actually. I loved being the person to help those in need. I don't work with the public and it was a great feeling to remember from the times that I used to. Helping.
I also love to read and I realllly love school. I am a huge school nerd. So...what would be a calling that involves: talking, listening, helping and education? Hell if I know... But at least I have a starting point!
3) What is the one limitation in your life that is the most painful for you to accept? If we can understand what we are not good at, we can begin to understand how to overcome this and flourish in what we ARE good at. This is one I think I am going to have to give some thought to. I have some ideas...but I mainly just wanted to share the question here to hopefully get my two readers (lol) thinking about that. It's a really great question and I think it can lead to some amazing answers and progressions in our lives.
One final note. The pastor completely missed a key point. During the sermon, there rang out two people's cell phones. I thought it was the PERFECT opportunity to say that was their 'calling'. But alas, it was missed. Dangit :)
Some really great dude once said "Know thyself". That would be my father (and Socrates but let's not be so specific here...). It's true. A combination of knowing oneself and in being open to prayerful consideration of what our Maker has in store for our calling and purpose is a perfect blend to our happiness and being productive members of society.
"Know thyself" in ancient Greek, public building in Germany.
Calling. Today's sermon was about our calling. I L.O.V.E.D it. It made me laugh, and it actually made me tear up. Not the sermon part...but the part where my church displays the baptism of people on the screens inside the auditorium while they take place outside in the courtyard. Specifically, a brother and a sister about 8 years old, were baptised together. I was ok with it until they joined their arms at the elbow and went backwards down into the water together. Ya- that got me. Softie.
Anyway: calling. What's my calling? What would you do if you won the lottery? A man wins the lottery and calls his wife: "Honey, I won the lottery! Pack your bags!" The wife says "Great!! Warm weather or cold?" and the man says "I don't care, so long as you're gone when I get home" (I laughed at that part, too ;-)).
Three things stuck out to me today:
1) We discover our calling, we don't choose it. I had to wrap my mind around that one, as I always thought a calling was what we chose. The Christian perspective really is that God has chosen for us and made us to be good at what will serve His purpose and kingdom. This may not necessarily be something we even enjoy or understand.
Before I met my husband, I had planned to join the Peace Corps. I had attended a meeting and was on track to join after earning my Bachelor's Degree, as this was something at the time that one needed to serve. It would have been a 2 year commitment in another country. As life has it, things changed and here I am. Not in a different country and not in the Peace Corps (not yet ;)). But at that time, I felt serving others was a calling for me. I still do. I feel it was something I discovered and it has not gone away over the last decade, though I have changed and time has passed.
2) Start thinking about the successes you have had over the course of your lifetime. Start with early achievements in childhood. This may be an indicator of what your calling is. I was a huge chatterer in my classes as a child. I made great grades but my teachers often commented that "Destiny socializes too much". If I heard the work "socialize" one more as a 10 year old, I swear...
So- I talk well. Additionally, I have been told I listen well. I also know I gravitate towards the walking wounded and people who need help. I love to help people. I had an all day work meeting at one of the hospitals I work for yesterday. I had to leave the conference rooms several times, as I was the organizer of the meetings. In the halls, patients would see me with my badge and ask me questions, of course not at all pertaining to my meetings. I really enjoyed helping the random patients and getting them where they needed to go. I loved it, actually. I loved being the person to help those in need. I don't work with the public and it was a great feeling to remember from the times that I used to. Helping.
I also love to read and I realllly love school. I am a huge school nerd. So...what would be a calling that involves: talking, listening, helping and education? Hell if I know... But at least I have a starting point!
3) What is the one limitation in your life that is the most painful for you to accept? If we can understand what we are not good at, we can begin to understand how to overcome this and flourish in what we ARE good at. This is one I think I am going to have to give some thought to. I have some ideas...but I mainly just wanted to share the question here to hopefully get my two readers (lol) thinking about that. It's a really great question and I think it can lead to some amazing answers and progressions in our lives.
One final note. The pastor completely missed a key point. During the sermon, there rang out two people's cell phones. I thought it was the PERFECT opportunity to say that was their 'calling'. But alas, it was missed. Dangit :)
Some really great dude once said "Know thyself". That would be my father (and Socrates but let's not be so specific here...). It's true. A combination of knowing oneself and in being open to prayerful consideration of what our Maker has in store for our calling and purpose is a perfect blend to our happiness and being productive members of society.
"Know thyself" in ancient Greek, public building in Germany.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Remembered
I've thought of so many things to write about lately but nothing has actually inspired me to do so. Today my mind wandered again, as it so often does and I decided it was time to get it out.
It's not often I can remove myself from my life, my circumstances, my stresses and dramas and decisions. But sometimes, when I get out of my head- I can think from a detached place of what my future may hold and what that means for me now. Often, it's depressing to me so I try not to do it too much :-) But...it's fascinating nonetheless and I think it can have great impact on how I live my life if I can learn from it and let it change my future.
The depressing stuff: in 100 years, I will be gone. Maybe sooner but I'd like to not think by too much :-) I will be gone and the people I love the most will be gone. My daughter will likely be gone. My grandchildren may be gone. That's crazy to me. It's crazy to me that anyone and everyone I have ever touched with my love or my humor or my work will be gone. It's freakin depressing, too. I thought of this today as I noticed a home for the elderly off of the freeway. I thought about myself someday in a home for the elderly and assumed that would mean I was elderly. Can I become elderly? Shit, I guess I can. Wow. How bizarre. And we know what happens after elderly........and that's where my mind went.
What's it all mean? Does it mean I can somehow try and forge a name for myself that goes beyond just the closest people I love? Can I be remembered for other good deeds and acts that will go down through the decades perhaps to strangers and people I will never come to know? I'd like to think so. And I have a few ideas about that. :-)
Or...will I pass through this Earth and this life like the sand that fell through my fingertips today while I was at the beach? When I die and when my daughter dies, will anyone still talk about my father who left us three years ago? Is that just how life is...and if so, what and how does it serve a greater plan?
It's so strange to think about these things and then think "Ok then, what's for dinner?". From such macro concepts to such daily micro concepts. But isn't it a compilation of all of those micro concepts that create our life? When I get lost in the micro concepts and the dramas, it is useful to me to think about the greater life. My dad used to tell me that there isn't a person who hasn't felt what I was feeling in the past or a person some time in the future who won't experience what I was experiencing. It would somehow always make me feel like a greater collective; and feeling part of a greater and a bigger thing always soothed me. It still does.
Another very big lesson I learned about life was when my father passed away. In the days after his death, I felt like I was stuck in time. I was stuck in this horrible and cruel joke. Time stood still. We all went into action to take care of all the details you take care of when someone passes. There was a time when I noticed: the world didn't stop. I was in jell-o...but the world was still going. Meetings at my work were still happening without me. People were still stopping at red lights and going at green ones. Food was still being served at restaurants. Bills still had to be paid. Oh my God. The world was so cruel.
In the end, it made me more compassionate. People are around us EVERYWHERE stuck in jell-o. A family death, a breakup, a divorce, a job loss...you name it. People are suffering around us. It's not just all.about.us..
The experiences of the greater collective; the sufferings and the joys- bring us to our generation. I feel a camaraderie with people I see sometimes. Old people and new babies. These people are sharing the same space, time and experiences in this life and Earth as I am. That's pretty special. At least I sure think it is.
I feel God eventually reveals everything we need to know if we sit in the stillness and let Him. When He does, it is then in our hands to decide how to handle the given situation with the information that we have.We can learn from what we have been taught and move into action...or we can choose to ignore it and continue treading water in the same circumstance. We have free will. We can only do what we can do with the resources and knowledge we are given. That's one of my answers: wait for my purpose to be revealed. And when it is...go into it head on and with full intention. I have had a bit of that recently and it involves greater education so that I can serve my purpose. I am scared of that; it will change my life and I thought my life was pretty sweet and comfy as is. :-)
But stagnant and happy are often places of attraction for change from the Universe. Time to shake it up. Time to be remembered. Time to make an impact.
Time to be more than sand in the wind.
It's not often I can remove myself from my life, my circumstances, my stresses and dramas and decisions. But sometimes, when I get out of my head- I can think from a detached place of what my future may hold and what that means for me now. Often, it's depressing to me so I try not to do it too much :-) But...it's fascinating nonetheless and I think it can have great impact on how I live my life if I can learn from it and let it change my future.
The depressing stuff: in 100 years, I will be gone. Maybe sooner but I'd like to not think by too much :-) I will be gone and the people I love the most will be gone. My daughter will likely be gone. My grandchildren may be gone. That's crazy to me. It's crazy to me that anyone and everyone I have ever touched with my love or my humor or my work will be gone. It's freakin depressing, too. I thought of this today as I noticed a home for the elderly off of the freeway. I thought about myself someday in a home for the elderly and assumed that would mean I was elderly. Can I become elderly? Shit, I guess I can. Wow. How bizarre. And we know what happens after elderly........and that's where my mind went.
What's it all mean? Does it mean I can somehow try and forge a name for myself that goes beyond just the closest people I love? Can I be remembered for other good deeds and acts that will go down through the decades perhaps to strangers and people I will never come to know? I'd like to think so. And I have a few ideas about that. :-)
Or...will I pass through this Earth and this life like the sand that fell through my fingertips today while I was at the beach? When I die and when my daughter dies, will anyone still talk about my father who left us three years ago? Is that just how life is...and if so, what and how does it serve a greater plan?
It's so strange to think about these things and then think "Ok then, what's for dinner?". From such macro concepts to such daily micro concepts. But isn't it a compilation of all of those micro concepts that create our life? When I get lost in the micro concepts and the dramas, it is useful to me to think about the greater life. My dad used to tell me that there isn't a person who hasn't felt what I was feeling in the past or a person some time in the future who won't experience what I was experiencing. It would somehow always make me feel like a greater collective; and feeling part of a greater and a bigger thing always soothed me. It still does.
Another very big lesson I learned about life was when my father passed away. In the days after his death, I felt like I was stuck in time. I was stuck in this horrible and cruel joke. Time stood still. We all went into action to take care of all the details you take care of when someone passes. There was a time when I noticed: the world didn't stop. I was in jell-o...but the world was still going. Meetings at my work were still happening without me. People were still stopping at red lights and going at green ones. Food was still being served at restaurants. Bills still had to be paid. Oh my God. The world was so cruel.
In the end, it made me more compassionate. People are around us EVERYWHERE stuck in jell-o. A family death, a breakup, a divorce, a job loss...you name it. People are suffering around us. It's not just all.about.us..
The experiences of the greater collective; the sufferings and the joys- bring us to our generation. I feel a camaraderie with people I see sometimes. Old people and new babies. These people are sharing the same space, time and experiences in this life and Earth as I am. That's pretty special. At least I sure think it is.
I feel God eventually reveals everything we need to know if we sit in the stillness and let Him. When He does, it is then in our hands to decide how to handle the given situation with the information that we have.We can learn from what we have been taught and move into action...or we can choose to ignore it and continue treading water in the same circumstance. We have free will. We can only do what we can do with the resources and knowledge we are given. That's one of my answers: wait for my purpose to be revealed. And when it is...go into it head on and with full intention. I have had a bit of that recently and it involves greater education so that I can serve my purpose. I am scared of that; it will change my life and I thought my life was pretty sweet and comfy as is. :-)
But stagnant and happy are often places of attraction for change from the Universe. Time to shake it up. Time to be remembered. Time to make an impact.
Time to be more than sand in the wind.
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