A Meditation on Neckties

"Stars in the purple dusk above the rooftops,
Pale in the saffron mist and seem to die,
And I myself on a swiftly tilting planet,
Stand before a glass and tie my tie"- Conrad Aiken

My boss stood talking to me today and I glanced down at his necktie. He often has attractive neckties and I believe I am familiar with most of them. I especially like it when he wears the one I got him for Christmas. I glanced down at his tie and I saw one I did not recognize. It was beautiful. It was a mix of spheres with a diagonal soft design brushed over them. The colors were pastels and as usual, went well with his collared shirt. I said "I like your tie! Is it new?" and he looked down at it, said thank you and said he had no idea. He said he reached in his closet and it was there. His wife has very good taste :-)

Seemingly independent of that conversation, I began to free associate a bit while taking minutes in my night meeting this evening. I looked around and noticed among the professional men who attend this meeting that several of them wear neckties. I must say that I found that absolutely adorable. I remember when my father used to wear ties for business a long time ago. He stopped that as I grew older and as his job required less formality. But I found the idea of the necktie so sweetly old fashioned. It made me feel ... somehow- happy to be in this group of wonderful, intelligent, caring, compassionate yet astutely business wise group of people. I have always said I love my job but what I love most are the people. The professionalism- the follow through. The people I work with have never let me down. That is a gift.

But back to the neckties. I imagined a young man learning how to tie a tie from a parent. Likely, a father. I have never been a man nor have I ever learned how to tie a necktie. What must that conversation be like for a young man? Is it a time of bonding or kind of just a necessity like learning to tie one's shoes?

Then ... the idea of a grown man repeating those steps learned so long ago as a child is so romantic and beautiful to me. It's so vulnerable and real. I suspect most of the time it's a pain in the neck (really, folks- the humor here is free!), but I wonder if a man ever thinks back to the person who taught him how to tie his necktie. When I ride a bike, I often think of my mother who taught me. I wonder if it's the same idea.

In the end, yeah- I get it. They're freak'n neckties. But they are a sign of respect. A sign of stature and nobility. I actually Wikipedia'd neckties and read up on them tonight. Did you know IKEA employees are forbidden to wear neckties? Hmph. The Swedish.

Whether they're a skinny tie to match (God forbid) skinny jeans (a trend on men I am eager to see die a painful death), a holiday tie, a ghastly gift tie or a super sweet one like the one my boss wore today, I like ties. I find them vulnerable, but strong. The idea that a man put time and effort into doing all those bizarre loopty-loops they do to get this fabric to hang off their neck and down their shirt is special to me. I like the intricacy and the understated attention to detail. I like the formality for the sake of tradition and respect. I like how when a necktie is all loosened up at the end of a day it is symbolic for a long day worked and a time for relaxation. I like that a tie says "I am someone" or that it says "I feel like I am someone". 

I like the necktie.