My Brother

My brother is wonderful. Not only does he answer me in texts simply by saying "Wurd" (spelled as such), but he really is a very special guy. He is real. He is funny. He is witty and very smart. He is 6 foot 9 inches. And after several years, I finally learned what he actually does for a living (Chief of Engineering- still vague but better than telling people he made software parts).

We went for a hike together with Betsy Rue, his puppy, down in San Jose. He mapped out our course and emailed me a few trail choices last week. My brother also is a planner and he thinks ahead. He learned that from our dad. I chose the tougher trail- I was up for it and am somewhat of an experienced hiker. We rocked it. He let me borrow his hiking pole, which after I bent over it and grabbed my back like an elderly woman (making him laugh), actually proved to be a helluva asset. Without it, my thighs would have been screaming. More than they were.

I knew when we reached a communication tower that we had hiked high. We had hiked well and we had hiked high. I followed my brother's lead by learning from him how to use the hiking pole and when to take breaks. We both had times when we were out of breath- the only sound between us the digging of our poles and our feet in the trail moving in unison. It was great.

Siblings are the only people who really know what it was like to be raised in our families. My brother and I both spoke of my dad a few times; something we thought he'd say or perhaps would have done. We saw a quail and my brother said "them good eatin's, as dad would say...". I never heard my dad say that. My brother was a lot closer to my dad and it is wonderful to learn more about him through my brother.

I am not going to get overly analytical or emotional about the hike. I could- easily. Suffice it to say- it was very meaningful to me. It was special and unique and I would have done that whole loop again if it meant I could have spent more precious time with him.

Plus, I learned his Ford Raptor was made especially for him- over 6 months built to his specifications and then shipped to him from factory. Excuse me, but that seriously completes him as The Bomb. In my eyes.

A Brother is a Friend, Given by Nature.



Hi.

I noticed something today. My daughter is at an age where she says "hi" to absolutely everyone. She will make her rounds at a restaurant, stopping to wave and say "hi" to each waiter, customer and virtually anyone that will look at her. Even to people who do not look at her.

She made her way through our packed church lobby this morning waving "hi" at everyone. Evvveryone. There is a second story in the looby with a landing and my girl looked up, found a willing participant looking down over the lobby and waved at him until he saw her, smiled and waved back.

As her mommy, and as an adult somewhat acclimated to the social nuances of being an adult, sometimes- it's a little off putting. Most people love it. They absolutely light up at being SEEN. I have seen the saddest and most distant faces light up like a Christmas tree at being seen and waved at by a beautiful little girl. That's not what is off putting.

What is unslettling is those who look so dismal and even after being waved at and said hello to, continue to remain dismal. Not only does my daughter notice this and a shadow will cross her face as she decides to move on (which makes me sad) but I notice it. And it makes me think.

When do we stop seeing each other? When do we stop saying or even initiating a "hi" to someone? What age does that come when we think that not many people actually want to say hi to us? Is my daughter already noticing this? When will the light in her fade as she understands that not everyone will be delighted to hear from her? Some people will be scared, sad, uneasy, nervous, angry or even disappointed to hear from her. I think there is still a a part of me that loves saying "hi" to people. I hope that this light always remains in my daughter.

Children can teach us so much. To those you love, appreciate, find humor or delight in- please today say "hi". Take that communication leap and let them know that today, you SEE them.

I betcha you'll get a smile.

Adversity

Adversity? No, thanks. I'll pass. Oh wait-  I don't get a choice.

Sometimes, I just want to hit the Escape key. Some things feel too big to take. Some things feel too heavy, too burdensome, too scary, too unknown. I just had a birthday...and it occurred to me that I am no longer 19. When did THAT happen? And why do I still feel like I am? Does that feeling ever leave? Should it?

I don't want to deal with what I am facing. I want to throw a fit and yell until someone comes and helps me and takes it all away. In reality, sometimes I just want to Escape.

Personal Escape for me will look like this: prayer, meditation, runs and hikes, reading God's word and also reading The Hunger Games. God, I love that series.
It looks like writing poetry, blogging, escaping into music and in to all that is beautiful in my life.

Somewhere along those pathways, I pray I will begin to understand this life. And my purpose in it.

My strength is made perfect in weakness.  ~II Corinthians

The 4th

I don't know what I was thinking trying to go to bed early on July 3rd. I was laying here alone feeling hot and uncomfortable in no small part due to the fact that my back has been singed red compliments of Stinson Beach and my bathing suit. Just when I finagled into a manageable position, a fireworks show in the distance has started. I hear it right now. Loud, thunderous booms. Through the fog of my fatigue from a long ass day in the car and at the beach, and despite my minor irritation that I can enjoy all the loudness of the local fireworks show without the joy of actually SEEING it, I decided what the hell- I'm up anyway, let's have a little write.

I feel lucky. Lucky that all of those booms and threatening sounds in the future are because of our independence and our freedom from other oppressive nations. That in other parts of the world, similar loud sounds are being heard as a result of gunfire, bombs, war, crime and ultimately, of death. What an incredible paradox. And all I did was be born here. That's it. I've not worked for this freedom. But I certainly do enjoy it.

Just the other day I heard a news story of a group of women in another country who were ARRESTED for driving. Arrested! For driving!! The sense of independence I feel when I am driving a car is a sense some women in this world will never have the privilege of feeling.

I am lucky to choose to gather and worship in a service to honor my God and Lord. Millions of people have been and continue to be imprisoned and murdered for their similar actions or even for their stated desires to do the same thing I am able to do without persecution.

So as I try to figure out how to twist my arms backwards to get this damn aloe vera "cooling" gel on my lobster back, I must admit: I am feeling lucky tonight.
God Bless you and God Bless America.